funny quotes about ex boyfriends

I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being. ~Anatole France (Jacques Anatole Francois Thibault), The Garden of Epicurus, 1894



Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. ~John Kenneth Galbraith



You never have the wind with you - either it is against you or you're having a good day. ~Daniel Behrman, The Man Who Loved Bicycles



You hesitate to stab me with a word, and know not - silence is the sharper sword. ~Samuel Johnson



You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance. ~Lavetta Sue Wegman



College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ~Elbert Hubbard



Whatever the Americans are proud of - whatever they consider to be particularly good, useful, brilliant, or characteristic of themselves or their climate, they designate, half in jest, though scarcely half in earnest, as an "institution." Thus the memory of George Washington... is an institution; the Falls of Niagara are an institution; the Plymouth Rock, on which the Pilgrim Fathers first set foot, is an institution...; "Sweet potatoes" are an institution, and Pumpkin (or Punkin) pie is an institution; ...squash is an institution; Bunker Hill is an institution; and the firemen of New York are a great institution. ~Charles Mackay, Life and Liberty in America, 1850



I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye



Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~Janice Maeditere



Christian fundamentalism: the doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life. ~Andrew Lias



There is a wisdom of the head, and... a wisdom of the heart. ~Charles Dickens



Genius, by its very intensity, decrees a special path of fire for its vivid power. ~Phillips Brooks



The poet sees things as they look. Is this having a faculty the less? or a sense the more? ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister. ~Alice Walker



Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown. ~Ambrose Bierce



Every society honors its live conformists, and its dead troublemakers. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



My drinking team has a curling problem. ~As seen on a shirt



A slander is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it. ~Henry Wheeler Shaw



Everyday people are straying away from the church and going back to God. ~Lennie Bruce, The Essential Lennie Bruce, 1972



To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right. ~Confucius