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''Years before, we had snuck out of an NBC Christmas party on a clandestine romp to see ''Deep Throat'', a much-talked-about porn film.''
-Barbara Walters, Audition

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''Sending naked pictures of yourself to a guy is the new playing hard-to-get.''
-Whitney Cummings

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‎''Then she proclaimed herself a virgin, to wich Shirley naturally responded, ''How could you be, Grandma? You have seven children.'' But my grandmother had the last word. ''I know'' she said. ''But I never participated.''''
-Barbara Walters

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''One evening when I had my wood burning stove going I realized I hadn't thought of dessert.'' -Gwyneth Paltrow

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‎''I've read all of Proust and Henry James, I just got a promotion at the Bank to systems manager. So what am I doing at 4am in Sheridan Square, hailing a cab with shit on my dick?''

-Andrew Holleran, from ''Chronicle Of a Plague''

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''Life is a banquet, and most poor fools are starving to death.'' -Auntie Mame

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''Only through the suffering of the innocent is the brotherhood of man confirmed.'' -Robert Penn Warren

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''Money destroys creativity, that's for sure.''

-Riccardo Tisci

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''In lieu of creativity, there is an undue emphasis on sexuality.''

-Jay Christian Emerte

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''What other people think of you is none of your business.''
-RuPaul

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''Even when you're aware of the phenomenon, you can't escape it. One of the best meals I've eaten in the past year was at Vij's in Vancouver, a spectacular Indian restaurant with a no-reservations policy and a permanently long wait to get in. Would I have appreciated the meal as much if I'd been able to saunter into a half-empty restaurant and get served immediately? Quite possibly not. The quality of the food more than justified the two hours I invested waiting for a table. But at the same time, the two hours I invested waiting for a table probably also improved the perceived quality of the food.''
-Felix Salmon, finance blogger at Reuters

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''I believe in talking behind peoples' backs, that way they hear it more than once.''
-Fran Lebowitz, in ''Public Speaking'', directed by Martin Scorsese

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''You know what they say, you never get laid with a braid!''
-Joan Rivers

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''Why should a financial engineer be paid 4 times to 100 times more than a real engineer? A real engineer builds bridges, a financial engineer builds dreams, and those dreams turn out to be nightmares, and other people pay for them.''
-Andrew Sheng, Chief advisor to the China banking regulatory commission, former Deputy Chief executive responsible for both the reserves management and the external affairs departments at the Hong Kong monetary authority. From the documentary ''Inside Job''

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"You take an ugly face and you put it next to a soft piece of fox and that face looks almost fuckable!"

-Joan Rivers

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''The best homosexual sex is anonymous, impersonal, promiscuous and public.''
-Joe Gage, porn director.

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"I had the one good threesome ever with Billy Corgan and a stylist in '97."

-Courtney Love