funny birthday quotes for dad

Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still. ~Chinese Proverb



If a man would move the world, he must first move himself. ~Socrates



Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter. ~Lemony Snicket



The last birthday that's any good is 23. ~Andy Rooney



Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement. ~Samuel Johnson



Some people talk of morality, and some of religion, but give me a little snug property. ~Maria Edgeworth



Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers. ~Austin O'Malley



Don't look for God in the sky; look within your own body. ~Osho



We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. ~Kenneth Clark



There lurks, perhaps, in every human heart a desire of distinction, which inclines every man first to hope, and then to believe, that Nature has given him something peculiar to himself. ~Samuel Johnson



What we provide is an atmosphere... of orchestrated pulse which works on people in a subliminal way. Under its influence I've seen shy debs and severe dowagers kick off their shoes and raise some wholesome hell. ~Meyer Davis, about his orchestra



Hospitality, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911



All other forms of history - economic history, social history, psychological history, above all sociology - seem to me history with the history left out. ~A.J.P. Taylor



Wine is sunlight, held together by water. ~Galileo



Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed by them. ~Henry David Thoreau



A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles. ~Washington Irving



So you are lean and mean and resourceful and you continue to walk on the edge of the precipice because over the years you have become fascinated by how close you can walk without losing your balance. ~Attributed to Richard M. Nixon



There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. ~Mark Twain



Misattributed: incorrect attribution of a source.



Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. ~Bill Dodds