Katy Perry's #1, Kylie Minogue Hangs In, Scissor Sisters Do So-So And Kelly Rowland Rises

Blargh! Katy Perry's piece of summer treacle "California Gurls" has now asserted itself at the top of the UK chart like a prize whore taking the dominant position with a skittish john on a ripped up mattress in the alley behind a Holiday Inn.

But enough about that creamy slut! Kylie Minogue's "All The Lovers" hangs in there like a pert-assed trooper this week, only dropping two positions to #6. Kylie has been ramping up the promo blitz ahead of the release of Aphrodite by appearing on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross on, well, Friday, and surprising the crowd at Glastonbury yesterday by performing with Scissor Sisters. She needs to fly back to her homeland, though—"All The Lovers" debuted at #14 in Australia (betraying HATERS!!) last week and has now dropped to #22 there.

And speaking of Scissor Sisters and flops, their lead single off Night Work, "Fire With Fire," debuts at #11 on the new Brit chart. A full month-and-a-half after I declared that both the music video and the song itself are completely boring—causing one Scissters stan to comment, "You are about as removed from the creative process as Jake Shears is removed the world of cynical, worthless 'journalism' that owes more to the facetious tones of VH1 than anything else"—it seems as if the bulk of the United Kingdom, at least, concurs.

Again, that's not me hating. I'm a fan of the group. I've gone out to see them live three times. And I'm sure "Fire With Fire" would have made a quite luvvly fourth single. But as far as being the first single off their first album in four years, it's painfully dull.

Moving on, Miss Kelly Rowland climbs up from #17 to #13 with her flawless David Guetta-produced dance jam "Commander." I'm chalking this feat up to her recent amazing interaction with YouTube phenom PhatGayKid (who, mind you, has become a sensation after only being online since effing April!) on The Graham Norton Show.



Priceless. And we'll end with Robyn, whose "Dancing On My Own" suffers a drop from #8 to #16. But at least that's better than Christina Aguilera, who's Bionic has dropped out of the Top 40 of the UK album chart entirely after a mere two weeks.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry *new* 1 week*
2. "Wavin' Flag" - K'naan
3. "Shout" - Shout For England/Dizzee/James Corden
4. "Kickstarts" - Example
5. "Not Afraid" - Eminem
6. "All The Lovers" - Kylie Minogue
7. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *new*
8. "Alejandro" - Lady Gaga
9. "Frisky" - Tinie Tempah feat. Labrinth
10. "Gettin' Over You" - David Guetta/Fergie/LMFAO