funny birthday quotes for girls

Strikeouts are boring - besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic. ~From the movie Bull Durham



Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. ~Bill Watterson



To live anywhere in the world today and be against equality because of race or color is like living in Alaska and being against snow. ~William Faulkner, Essays, Speeches and Public Letters



Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik



Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. ~James C. Dobson



Accustomed to the veneer of noise, to the shibboleths of promotion, public relations, and market research, society is suspicious of those who value silence. ~John Lahr



A man might pass for insane who should see things as they are. ~William Ellery Channing



When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt



Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!



If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being? ~Aleksander Solzhenitsyn



Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book



I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? ~John Lennon



Turn your wounds into wisdom. ~Oprah Winfrey



Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta. ~Brian Aldiss



Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860



Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes



The truth is, I was afraid the day I walked into Stanford. And I was afraid the day I walked out. ~Carly Fiorina



I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.



There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. ~Colette



These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it. ~From a Charles Barkley commercial for basketball shoes, 1993