funny quotes about attitude

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. ~Jerome K. Jerome



You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness. ~Author Unknown



There was a boyishness about Mr. Clemens sometimes that found different modes of expression. Once, when the long corridor of the second floor of the hotel presented a temptingly empty avenue, he hopped, skipped, and ran, and then gave a delicious suggestion of a cake-walk. As soon as a door opened, however, he stopped and assumed a supernaturally grave aspect. ~Elizabeth Wallace, Mark Twain and the Happy Island, 1914



It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep. ~Malcolm X



If you are not happy here and now, you never will be. ~Taisen Deshimaru



Stop? I'm the guy. I don't stop! That's the woman's job. We're the gas, they're the brakes. ~Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, EDtv, 1999



Man is the only trained animal who expects his reward before he does his trick. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. ~Aldous Leonard Huxley, Texts and Pretexts, 1932



If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale



Love, love, love - all the wretched cant of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures. ~Germaine Greer



There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist. ~Robert Benchley



If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster. ~Isaac Asimov



Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way. ~Florence Scovel Shinn



Well, one gets out of bed and the planets don�t always hiss or muck up the day, each day. ~Anne Sexton



Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



The door to safety swings on the hinges of common sense. ~Author Unknown



We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem



Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. ~Betty Smith



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If I lose at play, I blaspheme; if my fellow loses, he blasphemes. So, God is always the loser. ~John Donne, 1623