funny quotes about change

All morons hate it when you call them a moron. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 6



I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody. ~Benjamin Franklin



I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~Arnold Schwarzenegger



For me, Vegas is a vacation from being overinhibited, in the highly overinhabited yet uninhabitable city of complete uninhibition. ~Tammy Bloemzaken



Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. ~Mark Twain



Circa: Latin, literally meaning about; used to describe various dates that are uncertain; often abbreviated c. or ca.



Unsafe acts will keep you in stitches. ~Author Unknown



Perhaps no person can be a poet, or can even enjoy poetry, without a certain unsoundness of mind. ~Thomas Babington Macaulay



October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football. ~Jason Love



98% of all statistics are made up. ~Author Unknown



Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. ~Pete Dye



I hate weekends because there is no stock market. ~Rene Rivkin



In all science, error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go first than last. ~Hugh Walpole



Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. ~Roseanne Barr



Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish. ~James Gorman



A mind is accustomed to mathematical deduction, when confronted with the faulty foundations of astrology, resists a long, long time, like an obstinate mule, until compelled by beating and curses to put its foot into that dirty puddle. ~Johannes Kepler



Tea is instant wisdom - just add water! ~Astrid Alauda



Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation. ~George Bernard Shaw, 1931



Our past is like a footprint. It only confirms we were there. No burden on our future does it bear. Bring the rain, clear the pane of clutter. ~Jeb Dickerson, www.howtomatter.com