golf quotes funny

Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. ~From the movie Fight Club, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk



If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance. ~Bern Williams



Idiom: an expression whose meanings cannot be inferred from the meanings of the words that make it up, i.e. cannot be translated literally. Examples: "under the weather," "kick the bucket."



A statistician made a few calculations and discovered that since the birth of our nation more lives had been lost in celebrating independence than in winning it. ~Curtis Billings



We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essays



Fear and courage are brothers. ~Proverb



Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. ~Katharine Hepburn



I feel most ministers who claim they've heard God's voice are eating too much pizza before they go to bed at night, and it's really an intestinal disorder, not a revelation. ~Rev. Jerry Falwell



My sons think it's a fireman's pole, but I forgot to cut a hole through the ground into the kitchen. ~Pamela Anderson



You aren't alive anywhere like you're alive at fight club.... Fight club isn't about winning or losing fights. Fight club isn't about words. You see a guy come to fight club for the first time, and his ass is a loaf of white bread. You see this same guy here six months later, and he looks carved out of wood. This guy trusts himself to handle anything. There's grunting and noise at fight club like at the gym, but fight club isn't about looking good. There's hysterical shouting in tongues like at church, and when you wake up Sunday afternoon you feel saved. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 6



Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food. ~Hippocrates



What we call real estate - the solid ground to build a house on - is the broad foundation on which nearly all the guilt of this world rests. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne



Hate the sin and love the sinner. ~Mohandas Gandhi



Our prejudices are like physical infirmities - we cannot do what they prevent us from doing. ~John Lancaster Spalding



Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. ~Author Unknown



The greatest wealth is health. ~Virgil



Homecoming means tradition. ~Author Unknown



Where the loser saw barriers, the winner saw hurdles. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. ~Mark Twain