poems for women

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend. ~Author Unknown



I'm not a leftist; I'm where the righteous ought to be. ~M.M. Coady



Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between. ~Alfred E. Neuman



I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss. ~Dave Barry



Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them. ~Compton MacKenzie



Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha. ~"The Villains in Blue," Time magazine, 25 August 1961



She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter, Chapter XVIII "A Flood of Sunshine"



How did I know that someday - at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere - the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again? ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 20



Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!



An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex. ~Aldous Huxley



Middle age is youth without its levity, and age without decay. ~Daniel Defoe



Happiness will not pass you by when you're skipping. ~Jessi Lane Adams



Anthologies of aphorisms are usually arranged according to themes.... This is not the best method for the aphorism, because it often has several themes and interpretations. ~Markku Envall



Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. ~William James Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. ~William James



Among all the sights of the docks, the noble truck-horses are not the least striking to a stranger. They are large and powerful brutes, with such sleek and glossy coats, that they look as if brushed and put on by a valet every morning. They march with a slow and stately step, lifting their ponderous hoofs like royal Siam elephants. Thou shalt not lay stripes upon these Roman citizens; for their docility is such, they are guided without rein or lash; they go or come, halt or march on, at a whisper. So grave, dignified, gentlemanly, and courteous did these fine truck-horses look - so full of calm intelligence and sagacity, that often I endeavored to get into conversation with them, as they stood in contemplative attitudes while their loads were preparing. But all I could get from them was the mere recognition of a friendly neigh; though I would stake much upon it that, could I have spoken in their language, I would have derived from them a good deal of valuable information touching the docks, where they passed the whole of their dignified lives. ~Herman Melville, Redburn. His First Voyage, 1849



The oceans of history are made turbulent by the ever-rising tides of hate. History is cluttered with the wreckage of nations and individuals that pursued that self-defeating path of hate. Love is the key to the solution of the problems of the world. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Nobel Prize lecture, 11 December 1968



Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself. ~Elbert Hubbard



The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it's more like a tired feeling, really. ~Paula Poundstone



Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. ~Cherokee Indian Proverb



These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it. ~From a Charles Barkley commercial for basketball shoes, 1993