rhyming poems for haters

Sickness is the vengeance of nature for the violation of her laws. ~Charles Simmons



Sic: used to indicate that a quoted passage, especially one containing an error or unconventional spelling, has been retained in its original form or written intentionally.



A Proper Tea is much nicer than a Very Nearly Tea, which is one you forget about afterwards. ~A.A. Milne



God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward



Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown



When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799



Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ~Francis Rodman



The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough



If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. ~Quentin Crisp



Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes



It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious. ~Kin Hubbard



When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. ~B.K.S. Iyengar



Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it. ~Author Unknown



Our dream dashes itself against the great mystery like a wasp against a window pane. Less merciful than man, God never opens the window. ~Jules Renard, Journal, 1906



When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one. ~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988 (Thanks, Marlene)



Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor. ~Abe Lemons



It's an odd thing about this universe that, though we all disagree with each other, we are all of us always in the right. ~Logan Pearsall Smith



It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it. ~John Steinbeck



No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his own. However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property. ~Charles Dudley Warner



Men - and I don't mean to generalize - are crap. They're the human race's only failed gender. Who needs them? And why are they so difficult to keep hold of? Do you think they realize, that were it not for the genetic imperative to populate the earth, they wouldn't get a date? That's one hell of an inducement: no pressure, girls, but shag one of these or it's curtains for all humankind! That's harassment. But do you know what? Do you know what's even more crap than men? We are more crap than men.... These magazines! A hundred pages of "men are useless bastards," and an article about why you should wake him up with a blow job. Am I alone in spotting the inconsistency here? ~Coupling, "Split," original airdate 23 September 2002, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Susan