Shontelle's No Gravity may have floated into the the Billboard Top 200 album chart this week at #81 like the limp corpse of a hooker facedown in a muddy river, but at least her label spent $30 on her music video for "Perfect Nightmare," right?
Robyn's Body Talk Pt. 2 charts better in the UK (#38) than the first part did in June (#47), but her new single "Hang With Me" has a disastrous debut at #54 this week. Only three months ago "Dancing On My Own" made it to #8 on the Brit singles chart.
The rest of it is pretty dull this week. Hurts drop eight positions to #12 on the album chart with Happiness, while their single "Wonderful Life" is still hanging in there in the lower reaches of the Top 40, this week at #38.
Meanwhile, Shontelle (just barely) lands her second UK Top 10 single with "Impossible", which goes in at #10. Here in the States that trash went to #13 and hung around forever until it eventually went platinum.
The U.K. Top 10:
1. "Start Without You" - Alexandra Burke *2 weeks* 2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz 3. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry 4. "For The First Time" - The Script 5. "Please Don't Let Me Go" - Olly Murs 6. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna 7. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull 8. "Katy On A Mission" - Katy B 9. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta 10. "Impossible" - Shontelle *new*
After somewhat flooding the airwaves with her semi-hit "Impossible" this summer, 2008 Chart Rigger Worst Of The Year honoree Shontelle has now recorded an actual good song for a change in the form of "Perfect Nightmare" (not to be confused with Ne-Yo's current flop "Beautiful Monster").
Rodney Jerkins produced this trash, and it seems having a hit with Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone" has given Darkchild a flare for dance-pop.
Am I ashamed to admit I like a Shontelle jam? Sure. It's kind of like when you get crabs from a priest—you know you did something bad, but Jesus already knew you were a whore in the first place, so it's okay.
Here's hoping "Perfect Nightmare" is another #36 smash for Shontelle on the U.S. chart!
There are about 37 songs from Drake that debut on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, due to his album Thank Me Later being released (it's #1 over on the Top 200 after sales of 447,000 copies), but the main thing is this—Katy Perry is still #1 this week with "California Gurls," and I kind of want to bump her off a cliff so I can watch her blue wig flap around till she lands in the shark-infested ocean! Then it'll be red and blue wig. Patriotic!
Speaking of which, VV Brown's "Shark In The Water" is up 13 positions to #70 this week. Just love that jam.
Now, something that never ceases to amaze me is the perseverance and durability of Shontelle. Surely, after "T-Shirt" flopped at #36 two years ago (and made Chart Rigger's 10 Worst Singles Of 2008 list), you'd have thought the poor man's Rihanna beautiful Barbadian wanna-diva would have fucked off.
But no! Her tearjerker ballad "Impossible" (produced by Arthor Birgisson, no less!) has somehow made it's way to #17 on the Hot 100. And, you know—it kind of sounds like something off Shayne Ward's last album. So that makes me bitter that he's not at #17 this week and Shontelle is.
Now, you'll excuse me—I have to go break things.
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg *3 weeks* 2. "OMG" - Usher feat. will.i.am 3. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams 4. "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars 5. "Find Your Love" - Drake 6. "Your Love Is My Drug" - Ke$ha 7. "Alejandro" - Lady Gaga 8. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner 9. "Not Afraid" - Eminem 10. "Break Your Heart" - Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris
