21st birthday quotes funny

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now. ~Joan Baez



A mind devoid of prepossessions is likely to be devoid of all mental furniture. And the historian who thinks that he can clean his mind as he would a slate with a wet sponge, is ignorant of the simplest facts of mental life. ~Allen Johnson, The Historian and Historical Evidence



My language is the common prostitute that I turn into a virgin. ~Karl Kraus



In dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own. ~Steven Kloves, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (movie)



Each day, awakening, are we asked to paint the sky blue? Need we coax the sun to rise or flowers to bloom? Need we teach birds to sing, or children to laugh, or lovers to kiss? No, though we think the world imperfect, it surrounds us each day with its perfections. We are asked only to appreciate them, and to show appreciation by living in peaceful harmony amidst them. The Creator does not ask that we create a perfect world; He asks that we celebrate it. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com Each day, the American housewife turns toward television as toward a lover. She feels guilty about it, and well she might, for he's covered with warts and is only after her money. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. ~Jim Rohn



A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. ~Author Unknown



There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. ~Vicki Baum



The only way to read a book of aphorisms without being bored is to open it at random and, having found something that interests you, close the book and meditate. ~Prince de Ligne



Family is just accident.... They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are. ~Marsha Norman



Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night. ~George Allen



Sometimes he curls up on my pillow during the night and I don't know he's there until I yawn and my mouth closes on a whisker. ~Astrid Alauda



I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. ~Gary Hart



Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again? ~A.A. Milne



God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ~Jewish Proverb



The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. ~Irving Berlin



There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. ~Chinese Proverb



A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. ~Samuel Butler



There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." ~C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, 1943



Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true. ~H.L. Mencken