funny friend quotes

We are closer to the ants than to the butterflies. Very few people can endure much leisure. ~Gerald Brenan, Thoughts in a Dry Season



I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. ~Woody Allen, on the Ku Klux Klan



The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honore de Balzac



History knows that it can wait for more evidence and review its older verdicts; it offers an endless series of courts of appeal, and is ever ready to reopen closed cases. ~William Stubbs



The words "I am" are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman



You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. ~Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis



It's so hot even my fake plants are wilting. ~Linda Solegato



Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. ~Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. ~Agnes Repplier



Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye. ~Grey Livingston



Faith can move mountains, but don't be surprised if God hands you a shovel. ~Author Unknown



Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.



Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. ~George Carlin



A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~Hugh Downs



Very sorry can't come. Lie follows by post. ~Charles Beresford, telegram reply to a dinner invitation



Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. ~Ambrose Bierce



Chocolate is like medicine - but as with medicine, the key is the proper dose. Don't overdo it. ~Edward "Grandpa" Jones



A gun gives you the body, not the bird. ~Henry David Thoreau



Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide? ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau



Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. ~Author Unknown