hilarious quotes and sayings for facebook

Happiness is a form of courage. ~Holbrook Jackson



Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world. ~Irish Proverb



Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. ~Dennis Leary



The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. ~H.U. Westermayer



We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to secure liberty for their souls. ~Robert J. McCracken



America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality. ~Adlai Stevenson



The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. ~Theodore Rubin



If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve. ~David Sedaris



Thrift means that you should always have the best you can possibly afford, when the thing has any reference to your physical and mental health, to your growth in efficiency and power. ~Orison Swett Marden



By gaming we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man. ~Owen Felltham



The self cannot be escaped, but it can be, with ingenuity and hard work, distracted. ~Donald Barthelme



The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. ~Douglas Adams



Filthy water cannot be washed. ~African Proverb



Poetry is the key to the hieroglyphics of Nature. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



What's the point of being a lesbian if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation man? ~Rita Mae Brown



Eat, drink and be scary. ~Author Unknown



If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job. ~Malcolm S. Forbes



When words leave off, music begins. ~Heinrich Heine



I have woven a parachute out of everything broken. ~William Stafford



I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere. ~Author Unknown