i love you more than funny quotes

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. ~Author Unknown



Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunters. ~African Proverb



A father is available to help his daughter balance both her love and her anger toward her mother, to moderate the inevitable emotional extremes in the intense mother-daughter equation. With Daddy's steadying influence daughters can learn to be comfortable with healthy anger, rather than feeling that they must be eternal good girls who must at all costs conceal it. ~Victoria Secunda



The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. ~George Patton



Success has made failures of many men. ~Cindy Adams



Do not call any work menial until you have watched a proud person do it. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



May the devil chase you every day of your life and never catch you. ~Irish Toast



Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~Ralph Hodgson, The Skylark and Other Poems



More men are killed by overwork than the importance of this world justifies. ~Rudyard Kipling



You know you're an Arizona native when you take rain dances seriously. ~Skip Boyer, quoted in You Know You're an Arizona Native, When... compiled by Don Dedera, 1993



He talked about Father Junipero Serra's qualifications for sainthood: they say he cured a nun's lupus. A miracle. Now I'm not a doctor, but I know lupus goes into remission. It's not always fatal. Have Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder play ping-pong together. That's a miracle. ~Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle, 2 February 1989



How strange a thing this is! The Priest telleth me that the Soul is worth all the gold in the world, and the merchants say that it is not worth a clipped piece of silver. ~Oscar Wilde



It's easy to believe in magic when you're young. Anything you couldn't explain was magic then. It didn't matter if it was science or a fairy tale. Electricity and elves were both infinitely mysterious and equally possible - elves probably more so. ~Charles de Lint It's easy to cry "bug" when the truth is that you've got a complex system and sometimes it takes a while to get all the components to co-exist peacefully. ~Doug Vargas



They say that ninety percent of TV is junk. But, ninety percent of everything is junk. ~Gene Roddenberry



I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived. ~Willa Cather



To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations - such is a pleasure beyond compare. ~Kenko Yoshida



Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. ~Ambrose Bierce



If civilization has risen from the Stone Age, it can rise again from the Wastepaper Age. ~Jacques Barzun, The House of Intellect, 1959



We did not hesitate to call our movement an army. But it was a special army, with no supplies but its sincerity, no uniform but its determination, no arsenal except its faith, no currency but its conscience. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.



Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety. ~Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren