friends quotes funny

It is the will of God and Nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside, when the soul is to enter into real life; 'tis rather an embrio state, a preparation for living; a man is not completely born until he be dead: Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals? ~Benjamin Franklin, 22 February 1756



Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative positions to be assumed by man and woman in the working out of our civilization were assigned long ago by a higher intelligence than ours. ~Grover Cleveland, 1905



Knowledge is haunted by the ghost of past opinion. ~Author Unknown



I have learned to live each day as it comes, and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us. ~Dorothy Day



The excursion is the same when you go looking for your sorrow as when you go looking for your joy. ~Eudora Welty



There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. ~Ruth Stout



To this principle of vanity, which philosophers call a mean one, and which I do not, I owe a great part of the figure which I have made in life. ~Lord Chesterfield



A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. ~Author Unknown



In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible. ~Cicero



We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse. ~Author Unknown



If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men. ~Russell P. Askue



Failure seems to be regarded as the one unpardonable crime, success as the all-redeeming virtue, the acquisition of wealth as the single worthy aim of life. The hair-raising revelations of skullduggery and grand-scale thievery merely incite others to surpass by yet bolder outrages and more corrupt combinations. ~Charles Francis Adams



Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. ~Charles Bukowski, Notes on a Dirty Old Man



Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. ~Ovid, Tristia



Music is well said to be the speech of angels. ~Thomas Carlyle, Essays, "The Opera"



I am not an Athenian or a Greek, I am a citizen of the world. ~Socrates



I don't know that there are haunted houses. I know that there are dark staircases and haunted people. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" ~Martin Luther King, Jr.



I plan on living forever. So far, so good. ~Author Unknown



Invest a few moments in thinking. It will pay good interest. ~Author Unknown