funny office quotes

Success, recognition, and conformity are the bywords of the modern world where everyone seems to crave the anesthetizing security of being identified with the majority. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963



When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~Matt Groening



You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state. ~Sharon Gannon



I wanted to burn the Louvre. I'd do the Elgin Marbles with a sledgehammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now. This is my world, my world, and those ancient people are dead. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 16



A boil is no big deal. On someone else's neck. ~Jewish Saying



My truths do not last long in me. Not as long as those that are not mine. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied. ~Douglas Adams



The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears. ~Arabian Proverb



The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. ~Albert Einstein



Hospitality, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911



Buying a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner. ~Author Unknown



I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live. ~Louis D. Brandeis



It is always the secure who are humble. ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton



In the country the darkness of night is friendly and familiar, but in a city, with its blaze of lights, it is unnatural, hostile and menacing. It is like a monstrous vulture that hovers, biding its time. ~Somerset Maugham



In all that surrounds him the egotist sees only the frame of his own portrait. ~J. Petit-Senn



An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. ~Henry David Thoreau An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. ~Henry David Thoreau



Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Journals, 1843



You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world. ~Tom Brokaw



The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. ~William Stewart Halsted



It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly. ~Bertrand Russell, Principles of Social Reconstruction, 1917