funny quotes to live by

Gardening gives one back a sense of proportion about everything - except itself. ~May Sarton, Plant Dreaming Deep, 1968



Hot Topic Quotations: August 2002



Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them. ~Aristotle



I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off. ~Jack Paar



Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. ~Zig Ziglar



Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. ~Author Unknown



No two gardens are the same. No two days are the same in one garden. ~Hugh Johnson



Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. ~Clarence W. Hall



I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. ~Bob Hope



I always thought that my airplane conveyed a silent sermon. To the earthbound observer, its silhouette was the shape of the cross on which Jesus was crucified. ~E.R. Trimble



There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. ~Alan J. Perlis



Where is the good in goodbye? ~Meredith Willson, The Music Man (Thanks, Thomas)



The theory of probabilities is at bottom nothing but common sense reduced to calculus. ~Laplace, Theorie analytique des probabilites, 1820



If everybody contemplates the infinite instead of fixing the drains, many of us will die of cholera. ~John Rich



Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. ~Ben Hecht



Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference. ~Nolan Bushnell



In youth we learn; in age we understand. ~Marie Ebner-Eschenbach



So bleak is the picture... that the bulldozer and not the atomic bomb may turn out to be the most destructive invention of the 20th century. ~Philip Shabecoff, New York Times Magazine, 4 June 1978



We are not hypocrites in our sleep. ~William Hazlitt



A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation. ~James Freeman Clarke, Sermon