inspirational funny quotes

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. ~Michel de Montaigne



Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one's being, from bodily health to self-realization. Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul. Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one's actions. ~B.K.S. Iyengar, Astadala Yogamala



Historians of literature like to regard a century as a series of ten faces, each grimacing in a different way. ~Richard Ellman



Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us. ~Oscar Wilde, "The Importance of Being Earnest"



Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters, and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books. ~John Lubbock



I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy. I want to gorge you with all the joys of the flesh, so that you faint and die. I want you to be amazed by me, and to confess to yourself that you had never even dreamed of such transports.... When you are old, I want you to recall those few hours, I want your dry bones to quiver with joy when you think of them. ~Gustave Flaubert, letter to wife Louise Colet, 15 August 1846



They who disbelieve in virtue because man has never been found perfect, might as reasonably deny a sun because it is not always day. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



Scientists should always state the opinions upon which their facts are based. ~Author Unknown



In every age "the good old days" were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them. ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951



If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb



All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say, "Yo Goober! Where's the meat?" I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad. ~The Simpsons by Matt Groening, spoken by the character Homer Simpson



Burke said there were Three Estates in Parliament; but, in the Reporters' gallery yonder, there sat a Fourth Estate more important far than they all. ~Thomas Carlyle, Heroes and Hero-Worship



The future is dark, the present burdensome. Only the past, dead and buried, bears contemplation. ~G.R. Elton, The Practice of History



It's a sad and stupid thing to have to proclaim yourself a revolutionary just to be a decent man. ~David Harris



Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley. ~Author Unknown



For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service. ~John Burroughs



Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable. ~George Bernard Shaw



Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused. ~King Charles I



For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night. ~Psalms 90:4



Love is like those second-rate hotels where all the luxury is in the lobby. ~Paul-Jean Toulet